Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Message to Ron at the Golden "Corporate" Arches

I went through the Drive Thru this am and complained about that darn McCafe taped 5 second pitch. Anybody else know what I’m talking about? They said they couldn’t do anything about it.

So I wrote to Ronald McDonald myself!

Dear Ronald and other corporate types at the Golden Arch HQ,

It is not typical for me to complain and particularly so in writing, and never to an iconic company such as McDonald’s. Hell my first job was in a Sacramento Mickey D's slinging potatoes, and a lot of hot grease all over hell's half acre.

But now to the point; let's face it we are all “Lovin’ It” McDonald's and you remind us of this in your advertising constantly. But sometimes you annoy the living, well you know, out of me! Do we really need the annoying 3-5 second recorded McCafe pitch at the drive thru? Was your investment in McCafe really so risky that you have to resort to thoroughly bothering your customers so that you might recoup?

When I spoke to the customer service cashier, you know-at the first window please, she said she hears these complaints all day long but there isn't anything she can do about it. She also told me that she has to hear it every time I do! More on this in a second. Well, now holding up the drive-thru interminably, I asked at the second window of course, to please speak to the boss. The manger was Hispanic and spoke good English but I wasn’t sure she got the full measure of my annoyance. She listened to my griping and was most apologetic for the irritating tape and suggested I contact you there at the corporate arches, so here it is!

This tape thing is a pain in the, well you know, and I wonder if you have any real metrics on sales that could possibly justify pestering all of your customers so? Man look, it causes unnecessary
consternation and makes my brain have to think about this tape BEFORE I even get some coffee. Are you kidding me? And the poor girl inside: she told me she has to hear it every time for every car. This sounds like Abu Ghraib or something, the poor girl has to be non compos mentis by the end of the first hour. Do you realize how many freaking cars go through the Drive Thru every single morning? She can’t possibly be being paid enough to endure this kind of anguish! She also told me she hears a lot of complaints about this too! I was wondering too, do you get a lot of these letters?

With a magical and powerfully iconic company as you Ronald have built, and one so loved by the American People, won't you please "Give Us a Break Today" and nix the annoying solicitation? It's much better to have your wonderful people just take our orders and save us that negative moment just as we place our order for our Mickey D’s as only McDonald's can do. Ronald, my brain thanks you in advance for your consideration.


Burger Loyalist

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